Pursky Reviews: The New Girl at School
by Purksy
Summary: What's better than writing if you can't write? Reviewing of course! This is review/analysis of an Amazing World of Gumball fan fiction known as The New Girl at School. Rated M do to the story being rated M. Don't mind to leave a review yourself. Original Story Link: /s/10902028/1/The-New-Girl-at-School
1. Chapter 1

_**Pursky Reviews**_

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So I kinda forgot this account existed. Well I didn't exactly forget, I just didn't really think about it much for the past 18 months... So for the few people who enjoyed my last/first upload I'm sorry I let you wait for so long. I had a lot of things to do. But now I'm finally back!

So I found this thing when I was looking through "The Amazing World of Gumball"-fan fiction. In case you don't know what that is, it's a cartoon network show made by Ben Bocquelet. It's major audience are children but that didn't stop me from watching the entire thing in February. It's hilarious in many ways. I had a lot of fun watching it all the way through and if you have a lot of time to waste you might wanna consider watching it as well. So this is a kids show. In happier times I wouldn't have believed that people were actually writing any kind of sexually themed stories about something that's supposed to be watched by kids. But the internet has a place for absolutely anything and believe me. This is by far not the worst.

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 _ **The New Girl at School**_

 _ **By awesomeguy346**_

 _ **Words: 2230**_

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 _ **Chapter 01**_

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 **This story was made by a guy who calls himself "** ** _awesomeguy_** **". I don't even know what not to expect!**

a/n: Whats up Guys! I hope you like this New story! Mery Xmas!

 **...So spelling... that's a thing... I think complaining about other peoples English would a bit hypocritical for me. It's not my first language either and I'm sure there a lot of errors in this review as well... But I also can't contain myself well so** ** _Mery → Merry_**

It was a bad day at school for Gumball. He sit in class, desprately wanting to go. The only thing that kept him in that seat was pasion.

 **Oh my god, the story is just tempting me isn't it!? Sit → was sitting; desprately → desperately; pasion → passion.**

Pasion for love. Their was a new girl in school and Gumball was in love with her! He though about her all day and all night. Her name was Yazmine (Yaz for shor)

 **Yeah, are you shor about that!?... Sorry I just couldn't resist.**

After the class completed, he got his looks suave and approached Yaz. Hey girl, be my girlfriend please! he asked.

 **So that segment rises the question what exactly happened to Gumballs actual girlfriend Penny? I assume she either doesn't know, broke up with Gumball or simply doesn't exist in this context. I also don't think he'd have the nerve to just say "** ** _be my girlfriend"_** **to a random girl who probably has no idea who he is.**

Ok Yaz said. Yes! Gumball shouted loudly. Yaz and Gumball kissed for an hour before school end.

 **If you're confused, there's no nonspecific person saying** ** _"Ok Yaz"_** **it's Yaz who's saying "** ** _Ok_** **".** ** _Now_** **this is a totally new level of romantic efficiency. Believe me if it was that easy I'd be the first one to know.**

After that, Gumball went to Yaz's home. He open door and go inside Yaz's room. That's when Yaz was sexing Gumball's brother Darwin.

 **Now there's the sexual content that I was talking about. Also wait... "** ** _That's when Yaz was sexing Gumball's brother Darwin."_** **At the exact moment he opened the door that is. He opened the door and they just threw themselves at each other.**

He gasped loudly. What the fucking heck Yaz he asked while screaming.

 **Wow I didn't know you could scream out and talk at the same time. Also it is mentioned in the show that Gumball doesn't know any real curse words. Just in case the continuity wasn't broken enough yet.**

Fuck you you dumb bitch ass he said. You are a stupid fuck Yaz said back at him. Yeah fuck you Gumball Darwin screamed.

 **This is definitely something neither Gumball nor Darwin would say to each other or anyone else. I'm trying to imagine that scenario but it just feels very wrong.**

Gumball cried. I hate you 2 he said. I hate you said Darwin back. Gumball got angry and shot Darwin with an ak47, using a scope.

 **Great. He killed him now. With a weapon that he definitely shouldn't be able to get anywhere. Assuming he didn't bring it with him it was just laying around somewhere in Yaz's room. So where did Yaz get it? I'd also like to point out he used the scope inside a room that's probably not much longer than 15 ft. And also, Gumball fucking killed Darwin.**

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Chapter 02

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a/n: I hope you guys are enjoy the story so far!

 **That's a big no.**

Yaz screamed. What the fuck? Gumball she asked. Im mad Yaz he said. Your crazy! she yelled. Ok he said.

 **My brain hurts from a lack of logic. So Gumball isn't making much sense in this story if that wasn't obvious enough. So he'd just kill his own brother for being mad which indicates that he has some very serious anger issues but when he's confronted about it he's just like, yeah. The lack of quotations is also starting to become really annoying! I can't tell where dialog starts and where is ends!**

I like a man whose tough though. They kissed for a while. Then, Gumball turned on A sky Full of Stars By Coldplay and they had a lot of sex.

 **Let's celebrate Darwin's death with some music, yay! Yaz is making some interesting decisions. Oh no my sex-partners gone... Well there's a new one let's just keep going. And I'm not even gonna start with underage sex.**

The next day, at school, Gumball was smoking weed in the bathroom and listning to Linkin park when he over heard talking.

 **Well he really want's to get expelled, doesn't he?**

I heard that Darwin died 1 voice said. Me too said another voice.

 **Now it's nice to see that at least someone is giving a fuck.**

Gumball put out his weed cigarette and took out his ear buds. No he didnt! he yelled. He then left school.

 **Not suspicious at all. Surprisingly though this is about the most** ** _"Gumball"-_** **thing he did in this story so far.**

He was playing xbox1 when Yaz told him to come over to her house. Wen he got their they ate pizza and mtn. dew and played video games and listened to nickleback and kissed.

 **I'd call product placement but no one is paying awesomeguy to write this. They're also " _eating"_ mountain Dew which means they poured it all over the pizza. That sentence contains an unnecessary amount of "** ** _and_** **"'s too.**

Than Yaz's dad got mad and said your not good enouh for my daughter. To settle it, they played multiplayer call of duty to see who would win.

 **Wait, so in Yaz's dad's eyes Gumball is a better son in law if he can really kick ass in COD?**

Gumball won so many times so Yaz's dad said yes you are good enouh for my daughter.

 **Sure why not. You really like to disobey the law, you got serious anger issues, you killed your own brother and you also seem to be having sex with my underage daughter. I couldn't have picked any better myself!**

In celebrate, Yaz and Gumball kiss.

Gumball went to bed that night bein' happy!

 **After everything that happened so far, I don't know what else this story can throw at me now. Except there's still another eight chapters... and a sequel...**

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Chapter 03

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a/n: i hope this story is good. please rate and review. thank you.

 **Now in all honesty I like that. What I really don't like is when people write story's but then add "** ** _no flames!", "no haters"_** **and similar stuff. Awesomeguy is at least open for critic to assure he's good. But that makes me wonder whether he actually thinks this is a serious legitimate story... It's kinda sad really.**

everything was going amazingly good. Gumball had a Good life. suddenly, someone started spreading a rumore about him.

 **What is someone "** ** _accusing"_** **him of killing Darwin?**

banan joe said that gumball was gay. gumball was Angry. Suddenly though, some guy named Bob called Yaz a faggot.

 **But why?! Isn't it obvious they're a couple? And who's Bob! There in fact is a character named Bob in the show. Banana Bob. Banana Joe's dad. But what would he be doing at school?**

Gumball killed bob with a dessert eagle though. gumball Was angry. He hated school badly.

 **A dessert eagle!? Is that a hand fire gun that shoots icing? Or is it a big bird who likes to eat sweet dishes a lot.**

The only thing that kept him going though was pasion! pasion for love.

 **Well as it turns out there really is a thing called pasion-trap named after an antique greek banker " _pasion_ ".It's a tactic that prevents criminals from cashing in illegal money into a bank. So I didn't know Gumball was involved into some serious money laundering.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 04

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a/n: so aparently their's this hater in the reviews. if you keep being a hater i will flame war you you stupid fuck! dont make fun of my litteracy you bitch!

 **And I just said that I really appreciate the way he handles reviews. But I guess it's something different if you get negative feedback. I tried to go back in the review section of this fan fiction and find out who he's talking about and I found two people who have written reviews on his first, second and third chapter. The reviews they wrote are pretty mean spirited but unfortunately very accurate too. I also wouldn't say that "** ** _hater_** **" is the correct term. At least one of the two complained about specific aspects and explained what he disliked. The sad part about this is that he didn't learn anything.**

gumball and yaz were having a sex for a long time.

 **Yeah, I didn't expect anything else. I talked about underage sex in the last chapter but it's never mentioned anywhere how old Yaz is and when the story takes place. And considering Gumball is obviously not in a relationship with Penny and also seems do have had sex before he might be years older now.**

yaz asked gumball a question 'dont you have a girlfrined that isnt' me? no said gumball, and they continued there sex.

 **I just closed my fucking mouth.**

after sex, gumball went to school. that rumore about him being gay was a lie so gumball went up to the starter; banana joe.

 **Oh, yeah that guy. That guy who's friend gumball shot with a dessert eating bird.**

hey you! he screamed at him. what gay guy?" banana joe asked.

 **In witch country is this correct grammar?**

gumball ran up to banana joe and punched him 100 times. 'i hate you' he screamed. banaja joe then slaped gumball. gumball roared with fury. he step on banana joe to death.

 **That raises Gumballs murder-count two three. He really likes killing people doesn't he? And really violently too. I'm pretty sure he just did this in school as well, with everyone watching.**

yaz was so proud! i love you gumball!' she screached. they hugged.

 **Wait a minute... Maybe Gumball doesn't actually like killing people and he's in a Macbeth situation! She's just using him as a tool to murder people for her crooked desires and he does it because he's madly in love with her and doesn't want to make her angry and I'm reading too much into this.**

sudenly, princple brown gave gumball 10 hours detenion. gumball was mad.

 **Something is really off about the legal framework in Elmore. I doubt any of his murders stayed unnoticed and this is all he gets. Probably only because he killed in school.**

he sat there. he was so bored. he slept ocasionly. One time, he Realised something. it was a pasion of love that kept him alive.

 **Oh his lovely money laundering scheme again.**

he broke Out of detenion And ran to Yaz's house. he hugged her. you keep me alive He said. 'I Know' she stated.

 **You're also the reason I killed my brother, Banana Joe and whoever Bob was.**

they were finally happy. then sudenly, darwin turned out to survive the gun wound. He came back for revenge.

 **I have very mixed feelings about this development. I like it but it's also totally illogical.**

 **There's a thing I just realized about this Gumball fan fiction. It's not really a Gumball fan fiction, or it is one but only because of names and places. The story and characters have zero connection to the original. I can show you by just turning a paragraph of the story, let's say, into an Adventure Time fan fiction!**

 _ **After that, Finn went to Yaz's home. He open door and go inside Yaz's room. That's when Yaz was sexing Finn's brother Jake. He gasped loudly. What the fucking heck Yaz he asked while screaming. Fuck you you dumb bitch ass he said. You are a stupid fuck Yaz said back at him. Yeah fuck you Finn Jake screamed. Finn cried. I hate you 2 he said. I hate you said Jake back. Finn got angry and shot Jake with an ak47, using a scope.**_

 **Did that make any less sense?**

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Chapter 05

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a/n: I HATE YOU TROLLS STOP MESSAGEING ME YOU STUPID CUNTS AND MOTHERFUCKERS!

 **No he's running wild! At this point you'll notice that his authors notes are getting more nonsensical. His story is also making less sense. This is the shortest chapter yet.**

gumball got mad when he sawed Darwin.

 **Oh my god tension! Or it would be if it wasn't obvious already how it'll end"**

he got his fists ready. he punch darwin Many times. once in te face, once in the croch, and 50 tims in the stomac.

 **That is exactly what I thought. Gumball just beats up Darwin and wins.**

darwin Got hurt and puked blood all over gumball. WHAT THE HELL! he screeched.

 **It's called karma.**

he then Got A Vector CRB and shot Darwin to death. Darwin coughed up blood. 2 secods later, he died. He was buried in the backyard.

 **I'm not even gonna ask how he got that thing. He probably also ruined Yaz's walls with blood and holes doing that. Let me get this strait. Gumball shot Darwin with an assault rifle. Darwin came back. Gumball shot Darwin again with a sub machine gun. So this chapter was totally pointless.**

for now, the battle was kissed yaz 'goodnight' And went home to bed.

 **What? What happened to that poor sentence!**

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 **Well unfortunately, this is where I stop for now. We've already learned a lot of things. Like that we didn't learn anything.**

 **If you enjoyed this you might wanna comment or follow this story. If you have any suggestions for more beautiful fan fiction to review, write me a message.**

 **Pursky**


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